have u ever ...(2)

...made-belief that you're in love to someone, only to get rid of your actual feeling for someone else...

you were too afraid to let yourself so fall deep in love, coz u know, it's kinda' impossible to make it real...
then u find a distraction, to other person, who has more possibility to make it real...
if u ever... it feels not right, ehh...
it's just bullshitting yourself... then u'd regret...
regret coz u'd never know, what if u let it out... what if u let yourself fall in love... what if.. what if.. what if...


well my friends... i have... and it felt so bad...
i'm about to find distraction, to make-belief that i'm not in love, that it's fine to live without his existence, that it's ok and everything will be alright...


parah... ga enak rasanya... selalu ngerasa gak secure, selalu ngerasa dijauhin (padahal kita yang menjauh), selalu ngerasa gak diingini... parah lah... sama aja kayak ngebunuh perasaan secara pelan-pelan... dan akan terus ada pertanyaan "kenapa???"