dari si Anonymous

Look at me.
Look into my eyes.
Tell me do you see
That I am always by your side?
Or has the world got you down
On your knees?
Come to me.

Look at you.
Look into your heart.
Tell me is there room for you
To make a brand new start?
Or has the world gotten to you
And made you dark?
Come to me.

Cause' when you cry,
All your tears I will wipe away.
When you laugh,
Who do you think got you that way?
When you dream, babe,
And you wake up,
Is it me you wanna see?

Look at us.
Look around the world.
'Cause all you seem to find
Are unhappy boys - unhappy girls, babe.
Now tell me,
Is that what you want
For you and me?
Don't you want to be happy?

Look at me.
Look into my eyes.
Tell me do you see
That I am always by your side?
Or has the world got you down
On your knees?
You can come to me.

You know you can always
Come to me.

keri noble - look @ me, sigh...

ps. wah, si peng-sms gelap itu kok jagoan banget ya???
lo siapa sih, bo? tq anyway!

lover...fighter...lover...

Paul, I think I told you, I'm a lover not a fighter
(the girl is mine - michael jackson & paul mccartney)

would it be nice, if we, can find, a true lover that also a fighter in life...
i mean, based on my friend story (la niña story), all the men in her life, i consider had failed to be a fighter in life, at least for their relationship.

as for me from my past dramas...
d 1st, he was a fighter, but he was a possessive fighter that scared me to death... in this case, i walked away!

d 2nd, he wasn't a fighter type, he loved peace. till one time, i realized, he didn't fight for us that us that much. so, i passed him by...

d 3rd, he was a real fighter for us... i loved the way he fought for us, but so ashamed, that he never fought for his own life...

d 4th, he was a real fighter, i mean a real fighter. he could beat up ten guys at once. he had this skill to knock people out in seconds. but, things just didn't work out. he didn't want us anyway... he thought i was more "fighter" for him. hehehe...

d 5th, never got the chance to know him better.. it was my fault tho'. he could be a fighter, but i let the chance slipped away... becoz of... (to the next line, plz)

d 6th, he, once i thought, was a true fighter. he once put me on the first list, i was his number one priority and made me feel overjoyed! but life did change. someone or something just take my place... then, i had to fight my painful life, nights and days...

d 7th, for all i know, for all i wish for, he had the willing to fight, he just hadn't done it (yet)...

as for me,
still wishing hard... still do!

(baru tereak dari pemancar di lantai 24 sambil liat masih macetnya sudirman -so beautiful from the bird's eye view- ...gw tereak... "i'm stating i don't wanna stop wishing! but for now, i allow my 'fighting session' to take 'siesta' for a while...Woo-hoooo...")

being so modest!

being so modest, being so open-minded, being so fun to be with, being as my 24 hrs friend - whenever i feel like drunk, sad, wanna die or just wanna be crazy as hell...

congratz my friend, u deserve being a popular person!

coming soon, ringgo agus rahman, the star of the next box office movie ;)

la niña story

tercenung, menghisap lights menthol dalam-dalam... warna-warni lampu kota terlihat seperti lampu di pohon natal, kerlap-kerlip.
bibirnya terbuka, lalu dia mulai bercerita...

I’ve always been wishing hard for those who are not that brave in taking risk...
she sighed… her eyes wandered...

gak cuma sekali dit… tapi berkali-kali.

saat gw udah berusaha, gw rela ngambil resiko yang “ter” sekalipun… tetep aja, mereka berenti di tengah jalan.
they gave up on me!

akhirnya gw mikir… bukan mereka yang terlalu mudah menyerah, tapi mereka menyerah karena GW GAK WORTH ENUFF UNTUK MEREKA.
karena ternyata mereka bisa bersama dengan yang lain… yang menurut mereka bisa lebih patut mereka pertahankan apapun resikonya.

lo liat gw, gw biasa-biasa aja… gak tinggi semampai, gw pake kacamata gak gaya, bibir gw gak merah, pipi gw gak mulus… gw ga tajir, …

matanya mulai berair, dalam satu kejapan mata, air matanya mengalir…

tapi itu udah gw terima dengan hati yang harus gw besar-besarin. it’s over… cuma, yang bikin gw ngenes, yang baru-baru ini terjadi, dit…

tangannya menghapus aliran air mata dan mencari sebatang baru lights menthol.

kemarenan, gw ketemu dengan seseorang. dia lebih istimewa dari yang dulu-dulu karena dia mampu ngebuat gw yakin bahwa gw bisa dicintai dan gw memang merasa dicintai sama dia.
anehnya, ada penolakan dari hati gw. hati gw masih ketakutan. hati gw belum bisa menerima kalau akhirnya harus sakit lagi.
akhirnya antara otak dan hati gw berkolaborasi dan membuat satu sistem pertahanan dengan cara menguji habis-habisan orang ini.
semakin orang ini berhasil melewati ujian demi ujian, the next test would be more difficult and harder… and so it’s gonna be… the test would kill the guy!

dan bener aja, diapun akhirnya menyerah…

temanku menghisap lagi lights mentholnya, membiarkan linangan air mata yang terus menerus… aku membiarkan saja dirinya hanyut dan menikmati kesakitannya.

padahal dit, kalo gw bisa meyakinkan hati gw untuk dia, menenangkan hati gw untuk berani mengambil resiko kemungkinan sakit lagi, saat ini, bisa jadi, gw dan dia sedang bahagia…

binar lampu kota semakin indah dengan pandangan mata nanarku yang juga mulai ikutan berair… aku teringat “dia”…
was it me or him that “not fight enuff” for us? or was it just the both of us???

Journey
OST. @ the dolphin bay

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?

Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you ... to you

ps. HATE U SO MUCH TILL IT HURTS!!!

flowery me....

guwe seneeenggg...
tapi belom bisa publish senengnya sekarang...
guwe cuma pengen inget aja, malem ini guwe senengggg bgttt...

*liat kantor baru, smaller but i got city view from 33rd floor ;)
*doa guwe semalem dijawab langsung... hihiiyyy.. senangnya... semoga jadi, amin!

dear the up above...
TQ so much! couldn't ask for more... U r the best!!! luvya'!

ps. pas abis bozkuw "gimme that sumthin'" lagunya pas banget... he's always there.. whooah....

I LIKE BEING WITH U FOR NO REASON AT ALL...

i just love being with u...
coz i'm tired whenever i'm not with u...
i just can't stand my life without u...

seorang teman berkata,
"jadi menurut temen laki gw, laki tuh beda sama pere. kalo laki misalnya dia seneng naek gunung sama elo, sampe kapanpun dia bakal ngajak lo untuk naek gunung bareng, tapi belom tentu untuk maen basket dia bakal ngajak elo."

ok, got the idea!

bedanya sama pere, kalo pere udah demen sama laki, dia bakal ngajak laki itu kegiatan apapun - just to be with him...

jadi my girlfriends out there...
ternyata ada perbedaan yang lumayan signifikan antara kita, para pere, dan mereka, para laki!

for us, girls, 2 share almost everything in life could mean that we're deeply in love with that guy!

for them, 2 share some activities, doesn't mean they have special "feeling", they might only have same special interest on some things!

so girlfriends, before we go deeply, learn the situation and prepare your heart ready!

WANTED: BLUE LOBSTER!!!

situasi:
malam minggu, ngumpul di rumah teman, sambil main uno dan nonton animal planet!
tiba-tiba,

fun fact: only 1 blue lobster can be found in every 4 million regular lobster.
hah... emang ada ya blue lobster... langka bener!
berkembanglah pembicaraan antar teman (5 pere dan 6 laki) ke arah udang, si binatang paling setia di dunia...

pere 1:
wah, kita harus bisa mendapatkan "blue lobster" itu... bayangin, udah lobster itu udang yang gede, mahal, enak rasanya, terus dapet yang blue, yang langka...

pere 2:
iya, udang kan binatang yang paling setia.. berarti kalo dapet "blue lobster", dapet yang setia, mahal, langka,enak rasanya dan gedaaa, hahahaha...

pere 3:
plus one of a kind lagi... bayangin, perbandingannya 1 : 4 juta! wow... susye yah...

(pere 4 senyum-senyum aja, secara dia udah dapet "udang"nya)

pere 2:
uhm, kita misalkan lobster biru itu adalah laki!
jumlah penduduk indonesia, ya... 200 juta deh. yang bisa "digana" let's say 100 juta. berarti 100 juta bagi 4 juta, hasilnya dua lima.
dari dua lima, yang dua puluh udah taken, berarti sisa lima...

pere 1:
sisa lima, yang empat ga suka pere.. demennya laki juga.

pere 3:
berarti sisa satu!

pere 2:
wah.. kita harus berantem nih memperebutkan yang cuma sisa satuuu....

tiba-tiba salah satu dari enam laki itu berkomentar sambil sebelumnya berkata "UNO".

laki:
eh, tau ga kenapa udang tuh binatang yang paling setia?

pere 1:
ga tau...

laki:
karena bego! iya kan... kenapa orang bego dibilang otak udang, karena udang ga punya otak... hahahaa....

di tengah riuhnya tertawaan yang ga penting itu, pere 1 berpikir...

pere 1:
(dalam hati) mungkin emang dibutuhkan laki-laki "bego" yang mau sama pere kayak guwe dan tetap setia...

---

the next evening @starbucks setiabudi bld.
(pere1, pere 2, pere 3 dan 2 laki)

para pere masih asik berbincang tentang lookin' 4 the "blue lobster", the one of the kind... the dream guy!

pere 3:
eh eh, i drop the case... capek...

pere 2:
yah, jangan gitu dong, ayo tetep berusaha...find the "blue lobster"

pere 1:
(asik dengan minumannya dan berpikir sendiri)

pere 3:
gw ga enak aja kalo gw kerjanya curhat mulu, kesannya ngeluh..

pere 1:
lah kalo elo negrasa gitu aja ngeluh, apa kabar gw yah? berarti lo nganggep gw ngeluh juga dong?

pere 2:
bedalah ngeluh dan curhat...

di tengah perbincangan kami, terbersit lagi obrolan "blue lobster" kemaren...

pere 1:
(dalam hati)
ah, i don't need blue lobster... i just need a regular lobster that can take me as i am, that respect me, can make me smile, share almost about everything in life and love me for all time... then i'd do the same for him...

pere 1 tiba-tiba menge-cut perbincangan

pere 1:
njir gw laper... makan yuk!

.. gara-gara mikirin lobster jadi pengen sea food... ahhhh....

li'l note for my girlfriendz!

dear girl friendz...

i just had this ten minutes conversation with a guy that so "memorable" to many girls. from that li'l chit chat, i come up with this thought...
so, if u please, just read'em...

most guys, don't realize that much if we have a crush on him, IF WE DON'T LET OUR FEELING SHOW - OR - NOT TELLING HIM HOW WE FEEL.
so the signs, or some words via the third party, it won't help that much.
let's say he noticed. but he just can't make that move instantly. he had to be convinced that what he's about to do is pointful.
ESPECIALLY in this case, that guy didn't have that much intention to us.
WE HAVE TO DIRECT HIM TO THE DIRECTION WE WISH FOR!

or let's say, he had the same interest as we had, BUT WHY IS ON EARTH HE HASN'T MADE THE MOVE YET???

signals? check!
our sweet & nice attention? check!
the sparkling in our eyes when talking with him? check!
the longing appearing everytime we meet him? check!

What else haven't we done to show him how we really want him more than what we have with him at this moment???

well girlfriends, WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING REAL... MORE REAL...
stating what u feel, without asking how he feels about us. let him think, let him realize that for some periode of time we have sent the signals so many times.
LET HIM THINK ABOUT IT, LET HIM REALIZE, LET HIM FEEL WHAT IT'S FELT TO BE WANTED...
THEN LET HIM DECIDE...

if, IF, he didn't show up with the attitude we wished for, that he didn't want us the way we want him to be, it's time to pull away for some moment.
let him feel our disappearance...

let's cross our fingers and pray that he'd miss us... and from that point he realizes that US that he really want!

but if he doesn't... it's time to move on... go for someone that appreciate U more than him.
nevertheless, we can't make him love us if he doesn't... we can't force love, coz love is sincere and so natural...
and believe me, WE WILL FIND OUR TRUE LOVE, eventually!

so, girlfriends... no need to worry. don't push yourself so hard that u lost your own dignity...

fling-fling comes and goes, but true love will stay for a never-ending time...

happy saturday nite, my friends...

i do believe in my heart...

well my heart knows me better than i know myself
so i'm gonna let it do all the talking.
i came across a place in the middle of nowhere
with a big black horse and a cherry tree.

i fell in fear, upon my back
i said don't look back, just keep on walking.
when the big black horse that looked this way,
said hey lady, will you marry me?

but i said no, no, no,no-no-no
i said no, no, you're not the one for me
no, no, no,no-no-no
i said no, no, you're not the one for me

(k.t. tunstall - black horse and the cherry tree)

my 7 years karma cycle

...Therefore, it is at this exact time, during this short seven-day period, that we must act to rid you of your Bad Karma and replace it with Good New Karma, so as to totally change your life…

According to my calculations, your seven day period ends on Tuesday, April 26, 2005 only to recommence Tuesday, May 03, 2005 a week later. Therefore, it is during this very short period that we must act, or you will have to live another seven years in the same conditions...
sara freder

waduh... kepikiran juga... gw langsung ngimel and post bulletin di fs yang isinya

guyz, i'm about to enter my next 7 years cycle of my life (remember, 0-7 y/o, 7-14, 14-21, 21-28, 28-35, 35-42, 42-49.. dst....).

I know and i'm aware that in life, I've done so many things, good and bad, sweet and bitter, and i'm sure, once, I HAVE TREATED U (some of U) LIKE SH*T.

That is why, through my "not so polite" e-mail, if U allow me, I'd 2 like apologize for all the things that had been done, especially the BAD ONES...

I don't really believe in karma, but i do believe U get what U give...

Feel free to respond my e-mail if U have something to tell me, express how U feel (bukannya nembak yak, maksud akyu, mau maki-maki ato bilang kesalahan guweee yang gak guweee sadar), whatever... And please do before April 26, coz after that, i'm getting ready for my karma cleansing.

TQ guyz... Happy Thursday :)

nambah-nambahin media aja sih, kalo gw ada salah, kurang berkenan di hati jij-jij pada, dari hati yang paling juerrroooo, maapin yah...
hehehe, i wanna live my next cycle with better karma ni...
dulu-dulu suka jahatin laki, nikung temen, aduh pokoknya banyak deh...
maaf, maaf... gw akan mencoba untuk lebih baik lagi. nomore nyakitin laki (hehehe), nomore nikung-nikung, nomore deh... kapoookkk.. hauehauihea...

btw, rasanya proses karma cleansing gw mulai dengan baik. dimulai dengan berdatangannya blast from the past, some of'em. gw mau minta maaf ke mereka, i hurt them before.
supaya pas gw mulai dengan yang baru, gak akan ada hal-hal buruk yang menimpa ke depannya, hehehe... (clock is tickin' nih...)

the most beautiful clear starry nite, ever!

lembang, sabtu tengah malam, pelataran parkir cafe i love u

U name it...
most of the constallation can be seen by naked-eyes!
pari, scorpion, biduk, orion... lengkap...
dengan tambahan si cantik venus bersinar terang di tengah-tengah indahnya bentuk asterisma...

hanya hati yang bisa mengungkapkan rasa, itu pun tanpa kata-kata...

indah... cantik... masing-masing dengan kemisteriusannya...

lebih makin indah, aku menghabiskan malam yang cantik itu bersama orang-orang istimewa...

in the still of the night
i held you - held you tight
oh i love - love you so
promise i'll never let you go
in the still of the night
in the still of the night
i remember that night in may
when the stars were right up above
i hope and i pray to keep your precious love
so before the night hold me again
with all of your might in the still the night
in the still of the night
...
so before the night
hold me again with all of your might
in the still of the night
ooooh in the still of the night
in the still of the night

ps. mengingat lembang, tidak lagi jadi kenangan sedih...

say my name

Jaman SD saat seneng-senengnya buka-buka buku pintar, saya syok dengan arti nama saya. kalau lihat arti nama saya di buku pintar indonesia, arti nama saya "si pincang". Ih, keselll! tapi usut punya usut, arti si pincang itu memang diambil dari seorang pemuda yang bernama claude, selain dia pincang karena perang, dia pun suka berat sebelah dalam memutuskan suatu hal, terlalu ikut feeling dan logika sering dikebelakangkan.
hahaha... what a suitable name... look what i became now (amit-amit pincang fisiknya sih jangan yah).

Tapi lalu kira-kira tahun 2000-an, teman saya jalan-jalan ke Cina atau Jepang yah.. (lupa 'wan) dia ngasih pembatas buku yang tulisannya nama saya dalam bahasa cina atau jepang, plus artinya yang dibagi dalam tiga term! dan hasilnya... MELEGAKAN dan MENYENANGKAN plus INDAH.

"song to guide someone special"

wow... what a relief! secara saya seneng lagu, suka buat lagu walaupun dibantu sama my talented best friend - tomiboii, hidup saya dipenuhi dengan lagu yang jadi sontrek hidup, and i just can't live my life without singing!

intermezzo!
i quote oprah (again): as long as you're learning, you're not old!

well guys, wether like it or not - i'm gonna learn how to sing well, to avoid being "old" and to make the meaning of my name more meaningful, hahahaha.. what an excuse!

---
ps. njiiirrr.. barusan liat lagi di internet, another meaning, LAME! What??? ah, what the heck, i declare now, my name meaning is "song to guide someone special". end of discussion! hahahaha!

ps lagi. nama anak gw ntar dong keren, deandra, artinya divine! heheheh ;)

(one of) the perfect song in my saddest affair

Long ago, and, oh, so far away
I fell in love with you before the second show.
Your guitar, and you sound so sweet and clear,
But you're not really here.
It's just the radio.

Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby?
You said you'd be coming back this way again.
Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh, baby.
I love you, I really do.

Loneliness is such a sad affair, sad affair
And I can't hardly wait, baby, no i can't
To be with you again.
What to say,to say
To make you come again?
Oooh honey
Come on back to me again, yeah
I wanna be, I wanna be anywhere you are oooh

Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby?
You said you'd be coming back this way again.
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, oh, baby.
I love you, oh baby
Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby?
You said you'd be coming back this way again.
Baby, baby, baby, baby
I love you, I really do...

ruben studdard (carpenters juga) - superstar

lebai memang, tapi.. ah sudahlah... haeuhuaea... (biterhamen!!!)
aaahhhh... maaf ya, udah ga bisa terlalu curhat di sini :(
but i have another (secret) blogspot anyway.. hihihihiiiii ;p

s.e.n.a.n.g.n.y.a.

senangnya...

diulang-taunin sama bos baru... boleh ngisi VO (2 biji!) dan recording siaran pagi...
ahhh... senangnya...

senangnya.. tadi cerita ke sahabat-sahabat tercinta, betapa menyenangkannya hari ini!

senangnya, sebentar lagi mau pulang, tidur di samping mama, senyummmm... pasang alarm jam 6 pagi, denger siaran perdana!
*semoga ga cuma sekali aja* hahahahha...

ahhh.. senangnya!

dear the up above, i know... semua akan indah pada waktunya.. terima kasih ;)