...the last posting...

closing time, every new beginning
comes from some other beginning’s end...
(semisonic - closing time)

feel free to stop by;)

mi-sunshine

last posting... so long... farewell...

It's easy when you know how
To get along without Biff! Bang! Pow!
And if I see that you're fed up,
I'll stop and give you a leg up.
Over priced unreal estate,
Surreal estate,
The highest price they've hit to date,
Creating new divides and tension.

You've got to tolerate,
All those people that you hate,
I'm not in love with you,
But I wont hold that against you,
You've got to tolerate,
Some of those people that you hate,
I'm not in love with you,
But I wont hold that against you.

This is a tale of 2 city/situations,
Mutual appreciation,
Away from narrow pre-conception,
Avoiding conflict hyper-tension,
Non-phobic word aerobic.
This was my domain,
Till someone stole my name

(juxtapozed w/ u - super furry animals)

byee... byee.. byeee.

bijikuw...

i need my reflection back!!!

tiba-tba...

...sakit perut pas nonton clip lagu ini di quantum pas lagi meeting sore2 sama imam...

ternyata, si mas imam juga merasakan hal yang sama...
gw pegang2 perut (butterfly flies rudely in my stomach), imam pegang2 dada (nyesek katanya...)
ha ha ha...

There's something I want to tell you
There's something I think that you should know
It's not that I shouldn't really love you
Let's take it slow

When we get to know each other
And we're both feeling much stronger
Then let's try to talk it over
Let's wait awhile longer

Let's wait awhile before it's too late
Let's wait awhile before we go too far

Remember that special night
When all of the stars where shining bright
We made our first endeavor
To stay together

(...let's wait awhile... janet jackson)

waiting for something worth to wait, is worth it...

ga blue sih, cuma...

...lagi denger lagu ini di radioku, jadinya kebawa suasana... apalagi tadi barusan menyusun rencana bareng nonita hang out ke promenade st. monica bersama... hahahha... amin.. amin... i luv promenade so much! i found myself there...

L.A. Blue
Momentarely got me down
The more I think of u
The more I hate this town
And I hope to find my way back home will soon
I need someone to kill my

L.A. Blue
How do I give alive
Don't wanna lose
Myself in the crowd
Well I'm sorry if I ain't makin' the right blues
I'm just talkin with my

Maybe I'm crazy but I think I'm here to stay
And when my soul a street thousand miles away
I don't need a million hour again to make me
Damn I miss u
I walk back and catch you if I could
I can't stand another night in Hollywood
I need another way to open up my mind

It's not fair
How could you so far away
The more I mightn't be there
The more memories fade
And I won't be comin' back anytime soon
If you could only feel my

L.A. Blue
What can you do?
You won't be here forever
It's all in your mind

Maybe I'm crazy but I think I'm here to stay
And when my soul a street thousand miles away
I don't need a million hour again to make me
Damn I miss u
I walk back and catch you if I could
I can't stand another night in Hollywood
I need another way to open up my mind

L.A. Blue
Maybe it is so bad
The more I see of you
The more I wish I have

Damn I miss you
I maybe crazy baby
You so far away
Open up my mind

I walk back and catch you if I could
You know I would
Damn I miss you

Joey Mcintyre - L.A. Blue

gara-gara my boo...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

dear jakarta di sore hari
hua... seru juga.
ketika gue bertahan dengan perasaan ke-geer-an bahwa kalo gw hold on, dia akan come back, ternyata rasanya belom tentu enak untuk kedua belah pihak.

ceritanya, gw kemarenan hold on.
tapi kasian juga ya orang yang gw hold on to. karena belom tentu orang yang gw hold-on to itu ngerasa enak dengan keadaan ini.

masalahnya, gw sekarang ngerasain jadi orang dengan posisi itu.
jadi serba salah loh jadi orang yang ditungguin, karena belom tentu yang ditungguin itu mau ditungguin.

uhm...
siapa tau orang yang ditungguin sekarang lagi nungguin orang lain...
siapa tau orang yang ditungguin sekarang lagi berharap ke orang lain...
siapa tau orang yang ditungguin sekarang lagi males aja ngapa-ngapain...

jadi mendingan, sekarang nggak usah nunggu siapa-siapa.
nggak usah hold on sama sesuatu yang nggak jelas mau di-hold on-in.
mendingan jelas-jelas bertahan sama orang yang mempertahanin kita juga.

paling nggak, kita nggak wasting time over nothing...

yaaaahhh...
cuma pemikiran dan perasaan hari ini aja sih, siapa tau besok,lusa atau di lain hari jadi beda ceritanya.
hehehehe...

happy thursday all ;)
- posted by sunshine @ 3:52 PM 0 comments

(diambil dari salah satu blog rahasia... gara2 denger my boo, jadi inget hari2 sendu kelabu di palembang taun lalu, haehhaeha...)

hm...

the first time, ever i saw your face
i thought the sun rose in your eyes
and the moon and the stars
were the gifts you gave to the dark, and the endless skies
my love....

naaah...
the first time ever i saw your face, the sun didn't rise in your eyes
the moon, the stars, stood still where they were...

but the next and next and the next time ever i saw your face,
i knew it... u'd bring back my whole world to me....
and i think i'm gonna find my way back home, in u...

i lied...

said i love u but i lied...
this is more than i can feel inside...
hahahaha....

dapet salam dari ketololan lo, rav a...

Ravaditya... bagus ya!

perempuan: deandra sunshine mahaayla
laki-laki: ravaditya .... ... ....

u, only u...

para la belleza de la luz del sol
para la luna y las estrellas que chispeando
para la sonrisa y el calor de su toque
ellos son todo valor que esperas

U...
U i'm wishing hard for...
i'll be waiting... patiently, quietly, sincerely...
U, only U...

i wanna go home!

Thinking back when we first met
I remember what you said
You said you'd never leave me
I let go of your hand
Built my castle in the sand
But now I'm reachin' out again
And I'm not letting go
Till you... Hold me... Mold me
Sometimes I feel so all alone
See I gotta find my way back home
So why don't you
Shape me... Make me... Wash me whiter than the snow
I gotta find my way
Back home
(brian mcknight - HOME)

andai doski tauuuu

Bilakah dia tahu Apa yang tlah terjadi
Semenjak hari itu Hati ini miliknya

Mungkinkah dia jatuh hati Seperti apa yang kurasa
Mungkinkah dia jatuh cinta Seperti apa yang kudamba

Bilakah dia mengerti Apa yang tlah terjadi
Hasratku tak tertahan Tuk dapatkan dirinya

selebihnya... hahahahahahaa.....
gak mungkiiinnn... gak mungkiinnnn....
hahahahhaaa.....

jakarta sore hari dengan matahari hangatnya

hua... seru juga. ditampar dengan halus dalam keadaan yang aneh!

ketika gue bertahan dengan perasaan ke-geer-an bahwa kalo gw hold on, dia akan come back, ternyata rasanya belom tentu enak untuk kedua belah pihak.

ceritanya, gw kemarenan hold on.
tapi kasian juga ya orang yang gw hold on to. karena belom tentu orang yang gw hold-on to itu ngerasa enak dengan keadaan ini.

masalahnya, gw sekarang ngerasain jadi orang dengan posisi itu.
jadi serba salah loh jadi orang yang ditungguin, karena belom tentu yang ditungguin itu mau ditungguin.

uhm...
siapa tau orang yang ditungguin sekarang lagi nungguin orang lain...
siapa tau orang yang ditungguin sekarang lagi berharap ke orang lain...
siapa tau orang yang ditungguin sekarang lagi males aja ngapa-ngapain...

jadi mendingan, sekarang nggak usah nunggu siapa-siapa.
nggak usah hold on sama sesuatu yang nggak jelas mau di-hold on-in.
mendingan jelas-jelas bertahan sama orang yang mempertahanin kita juga.

paling nggak, kita nggak wasting time over nothing...

yaaaahhh...
cuma pemikiran dan perasaan hari ini aja sih, siapa tau besok,lusa atau di lain hari jadi beda ceritanya.
hehehehe...

happy thursday all ;)

...masuk angin...

sejak tolak angin hilang dari pasaran, aku sempat rela untuk merasakan tersiksanya masuk angin. bersendawa tiada henti, lalu terhantam rasa perih di lambung dan panas di lubang anus karena diare berkepanjangan.

tapi akhirnya aku menyerah.
aku menerima tawaran antangin.
aku mulai bosan dengan masuk angin.
aku tidak tahan sakit terus.

aku matikan indera pengecap di lidahku.
aku pejamkan mata dan telingaku berusaha memutar ulang nada-nada indah yang mengingatkan pada tolak angin.
aku teguk sekaligus.
aku matikan rasa beberapa panca indera.

ternyata mereka hanya pura-pura mati.
dahiku mengernyit, indera pengecapku mengirim sinyal ke otak dan membuat mulutku membentuk wujud buruk rupa, aku merasa isi perutku meronta ingin keluar ingin muntah.

aku paksa hatiku berkata, "tahan... tahan... jangan sampai kalah pada rasa yang tidak biasa kamu rasakan. ingat saja gunanya. kamu tidak akan tersiksa karena sendawa, rasa perih di lambung dan diare berkepanjangan."

akhirnya mereka semua berkompromi.

aku menghela nafas panjang. aku harus terbiasa tanpa adanya tolak angin yang mampu mengusir angin tak penting dengan rasa enak itu. aku harus membiarkan antangin menggantikan peran tolak angin walaupun rasanya tak begitu sedap dan kadang membuatku ingin muntah.

ps.
kepada tolak angin dan antangin, maaf ya pinjem nama.
kepada produsen dan pengguna, ini hanya perumpamaan aja, kebetulan saya sering masuk angin.

cuih (kata buhpy)

oh i.. will get over u someday
oh i.. never loved u anyway...
and when u're gone, my whole world won't fall apart
i swear, cross my broken heart...
(nelson-cross my broken heart)

seru deh lagu cross my broken heart di atas...
saya nobatkan menjadi lagu penyangkalan kedua setelah lagunya rupert holmes "i don't need u".

malam ini di kamar 217, saya sebenarnya ingin sekali merasakan adanya penyangkalan...
apapun itu...
saya sudah gali, gali sedalam-dalamnya... berusaha membangunkan segala macam perasaan dan kenyataan, biasanya berhasil menghantam penuh beban...
sayangnya, rasa itu layu, kaku, mungkin sudah mati dan mendebu...

aneh, saya, miss denial, tidak memiliki apa-apa untuk disangkal...

dasar!
pms kali ini kurang seru!

ps. so great to be back here! dikelilingi wajah-wajah familiar yang penuh dengan makian mesra!
aahhh... love u, guyz...

malam adem di gerai kopi

Perempuan 1:
Eh gila ya… kok mukanya dia berubah-ubah sih? Ketemu waktu itu beda, di foto ini beda, apa gue yang salah ya?

Perempuan 2:
Nggak kok, emang itu orangnya sama…
Cuma, mukanya emang sapaket sama hatinya, suka berubah-ubah…

Perempuan 1:
Wah, sisipan curhat nih ;p, ga ikutannn...

Sedangkan satu-satunya laki yang ada, acuh sambil menikmati kopi!

waiting for mr. right or getting mr. right now???

satu phrase indah yang dikatakan teman saya,
"semua akan indah pada waktunya..."

i agree with that.
semua akan indah pada waktunya.
semua hal yang kita tunggu dalam waktu yang sebentar atau lama, apabila memang sudah pada waktunya, akan terjadi juga.
tapi beda halnya dengan sesuatu yang kita tunggu - tidak pernah terjadi.
well, maybe that thing never meant to be.
tapi (secara kita sadar atau tidak sadar) akan ada pengganti yang lebih baik dari hal yang kita ingini tadi.

so this is what happens...

for the last five years, i've been searching my mr. right.
when i was with "someone", i thought he was the one. but then the situation changed then i no longer felt he was the one.
on and on and on, the situation kept changing, until i met this one.
this guy, he has almost everything that my check box could list.
but it's not that easy.
another situation and condition, we just happened not meant to be (yet, hopefully).
or maybe, eventho' he is my mr. right, he doesn't consider me as his ms. right... (pleh pleh pleh, biterhamen*)

but then, another situation, i am facing that my option now widened.
i have the opportunity to have some mr. right now.
yeah, they are not my mr. right - one of them could be a mr. right now for me, and maybe they have the possibility to be future mr. right.

(another) but... am i willing to take another chance?
the chance of having someone i can call my own while i'm not really sure about that?
the chance of sharing my life with someone i'm not really into?
the chance of (maybe) hurting that person in the future?
the chance of (maybe) getting hurt again?
...
or maybe i won't allow the feeling to grow coz deep down,
i'm still wishing hard for "my mr. right"?

well girl friends,
i'm now facing that kinda' situation.
i still have my endless waiting moment for my mr. right...
on the other side, there are some mr. right now, that maybe, if i only dare to take the chance, one of'em could be the real mr. right of my future.

what would u do if u were me?
go for the mr. right now... or still hold on for i don't know how long for the unreachable mr. right?

as for now, i will let my heart tells me what to do,
coz my head, it's just occupied with lots of other things that have nothing to do with romance ;p

pheew, u know what...
each night before i go to sleep, every 1.11, 2.22, 3.33, 4.44, 5.55, 11.11 that caught by my sight, i say a prayer, that i would not be bothered by this stuff any longer.

i wish u, my girl friends out there, either u have the chance to grab your mr. right, or at least have the guts to give the mr. right now around a try ;)

happy friday the 13th y'all...
keterangan:
(*biterhamen = bibir tersenyum, hati menjeriiitttt)
(soundtracknya... ost. at the dolphin bay - long jurney, hauehuahe...)

terutama >< selamanya

yang terutama dan yang selamanya, tidak selalu harus sama.

yang terutama, belum tentu jadi yang selamanya.

yang selamanya, mungkin bukan yang terutama, tapi pada akhirnya akan menjadi satu-satunya...

...diteruskan di blog rahasiakuw ;p

dear my girl friends out there...

i just realize, how stoopid i was...

and i hope that my stoopid action, my experience, could mean something, so that u don't have to experience yourself.

here's the story.

when i was with this guy, whom i loved so much, i was kinda' telling him that i'd got nothing to lose if someday he'd leave me.
i told him that i still have some guys out there that adored me and willing to do anything for me.
i told him that if someday u decide to leave, just leave. i could manage my life.
(at that time, i was just showing off, maybe i was testing him... and maybe i fear him leaving so much that i got so defensive)

the more he told me to let go of those guys and just to be with him, I just showed him my frown face (but if he could see what’s inside my heart, i was smiling with joy…).

but then, he decided to leave eventually,
and he really did leave me,
i was frozen.
i almost die...
in fact, i had reached my flat line.

as today, i just realize, maybe, if only,
if... i didn't say sucha' words, maybe, he's still there for me.
i am not a no one for him.
at least, if we did have to be on our own way, it wouldn't be like this.
it's gonna still taste sweet...

so dear girl friends,
if u really love someone, tell him, let him know that u will give him whole, not less.
let him feel your complete love...
never say such words that lead u to regrets.
your words is your prayer, don’t let your words against your dream.
if u do love someone, tell them.
never ashamed of what u feel when it’s pure and true…